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The Ultimate Christmas Gift: Dick In A Box For Your Fling

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If you don’t know who I am, then you probably have no idea about the lifestyle that I live. I’ll have you know that I spend countless hours throughout the day trying to connect with horny local girls. Guess what, even Christmas doesn’t stop me from doing just that! However, I like to bring something special to each and every girl that I meet around Christmas time. I give them a dick in the box for Christmas!

That’s right! I seriously do it and I’m going to tell you all the reasons why right now.

Dick in a box gift

For starters, I’ll tell you that it’s the best damn gift idea ever and that most girls absolutely love receiving this gift. I’ve legit connected with some girls on the Uberhorny mobile app and told them that I had a special big box with a suprise in it and a few of them took the bait!

They ended up coming over my place and I added a few notches to my belt if you know what I mean. Now, you can’t just go around flashing your dick to some stranger asking them to open the box.

DON’T DO THAT!

If you do you’ll get yourself arrested. There’s an extra special approach that I take in order to successfully connect with these girls. I’ll lay the foundation for you today so you know exactly what needs to be done here.

guy getting arrested

First you must find girls willing to do a gift exchange with you. I typically log into Uberhorny.com and just message girls asking if they want to do some sort of secret santa swap. I keep the price limit to a low $10.00 or less so they know it’s just for fun.

Once established, I head to the local Walgreens or CVS and purchase a box, wrapping paper and some tape. All you have to do is wrap the box, cut a hole in it big enough for your dick and put your dick in the hole.

When the girl goes to open the box, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to find your dick!

If she’s not overly excited about this gag gift (pun intended) then she’s going to think it’s hilarious at the very least. Which is why you’ll almost get laid gauranteed if you play your cards right.

Yes, it’s by far the ultimate gift to give to some naughty girl in your local area looking to get nasty for the night. If it works for me, it’ll work for you as well. Assuming you can’t find a fling, then reach out to me personally. I’ll help you find someone to have sex with personally!

Before I go, I guess I should share some of history of the “dick in a box” concept. If you’ve never seen Saturday Night Live aka SNL, then you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about. There was an episode that took place featuring Justin Timberlake and it was about him giving a box with his junk in it to some girl for Christmas. The skit was the funniest I’d ever seen and that’s what inspired me to do this.

Need some holiday dating tips, read this article here. That should help boost your chances of getting lucky too. Good luck!

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Best Holiday Dating Steps That Lead To Sex

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It’s Thanksgiving today and I spent a ton of time eating like a pig and watching football with my family. It was a pretty unproductive day today but I did take the time to try and put together this post to share my exact steps that I use in order to get laid during the holiday season. Holiday dating is one of the best things I look forward to during this time of the year. Now, these steps work best during the winter holiday season but for the most part they work between Thanksgiving and New Years Day. Here’s what I do to get laid.

holiday dating

Login To A Site

Step one is to log into a dating site. I generally prefer to use one that I know I can get laid on. Something like Uberhorny or a couple other “go to” sites. Once I’m logged on, I typically start browsing for someone that is within 5 miles.

Chat

After I connect with a few users, I immediately begin to chat with them! I do so in a smooth operator type way though. I never go in for the home run right off the bat. In fact, I suggest using an approach that gives the impression of being almost just slightly interested in someone and steering far clear from being overly desperate. Just chat and get to a point where you get an accepted offer for a date.

Fireplace and Booze

fireplace and booze

You next step is to hit the liquor store and pick up a few bottles of booze or wine. Make sure you don’t go too crazy and go looking like a full blown drunk! But what you do want to do is look like you’re well prepared. After you hit the store for some booze, I’d then suggest going to the either find a place that has a fire place or if you have one, preparing to sit in front of it for some fun. Women love fire places because they are romantic. Even the local girl that just wants to fuck, wants to do it in front of the fireplace. Plus, I often use the fire place to make a girl horny because I know it works like a charm!

Be Prepared

Lastly, you need to be overly prepared for anything and I mean anything. Make sure you have condoms, lube and any other fun toys that you want to play with during your holiday hook up date. Another thing that you need to be ready for is a change of plans in the event that your date decides to throw an audible out there and mess with the planned events. You must be ready to not get upset and just let nature take its course.

Perfect Timing

Lastly, you’ve got to take timing into consideration. That means that you can’t wait until the very last minute if you want to get laid during the holiday season. Everyone is super busy and they need to plan, even for one night stands, you’ve got to take that into consideration. You’re best bet is to find someone to hook up with during a holiday weekend by starting on Monday.