It has happened to the best of us. Yup, I’m talking about getting whiskey dick. It’s one of the most frustrating and emasculating things that can happen to a guy. We all dread getting whiskey dick.

Sure, your mind is ready to go, but your body is telling you that you have had too much to drink. As a result, it refuses to send the much-needed blood pumping into the shaft of your penis necessary for sexual intercourse. If you notice it’s happening too often, then slow down on the booze.

It’s always best to stop drinking or slow down so your ability to have sex is not impaired. If you’re curious, here are the different levels of whiskey dick so you can catch it before it turns into a wet noodle.

Specific Stages of Whiskey Dick

These are must-know stages for anyone that likes to drink and date local horny females. Whether you’re in college or a grown ass man, you need to read this, NOW!

Communication Breakdown

This is the first level of whiskey dick and one of your only chances to slow down the process and get your blood pumping again. The first time you realize that you are feeling aroused, but your penis is not, it’s time to turn down that next shot and slow down on sipping that beer and hope it’s not too late to recover before your hookup loses the mood.

This Is Not Happening

If there is a communication breakdown between your brain and your penis, you might start to panic and refuse to believe that it’s happening to you. You become frustrated and you drink your beer faster trying to calm down. This is not the way to go and can only make your situation worse. You already have a limp noodle from drinking. If you compound that with emotional stress, you’ll never get it up and you won’t recover from whiskey dick until tomorrow.

Why The F*** Is This Happening To Me?

This level comes after the refusal to believe that you’ve been struck with whiskey dick. It’s not because you’re less of a man. It’s not because you’re losing your sexual prowess. It’s a simple chemical reaction in your body caused by the alcohol that is not letting you function normally and not allowing blood to flow freely to your penis. If you have advanced to this stage, your fight to get inside a vagina is almost hopeless.

It Happened. Might As Well Accept It

You’ve let it go too far now. Your whiskey dick is not going away and it will not be replaced by a rock-hard member any time tonight. It’s time to do damage control. You can either attempt to use oral sex to get her off in place of vaginal sex and hope you don’t pass out. Who knows; if you don’t pass out before you’re finished with oral sex, there’s a good chance that you could sober up enough to shake the whiskey dick and go at least one round before you go to sleep.

Now My Balls Hurt

If you allowed your whiskey dick to get to the advanced level of accepting your fate, the best you can hope for is that your sex partner is going to be down to try it again when you have had less to drink. For now, you are going to have to suffer from blue balls, the final level of whiskey dick. Blue balls occur when your mind gets prepared for intercourse, but your whiskey dick won’t allow you to take action. This can be frustrating mentally, but even more frustrating when it causes physical pain.

Okay, so now that you know all the stages of whiskey dick. I’m going to suggest that you avoid drinking too much all together. Trust me, your sex life will be so much better if you do!